How do you manage your relationship with your old boss, when you are promoted to the same grade as them?
Often, it's something that settles naturally, but in my coaching practice, I see two problems that often occur:
They still treat you as if you were in your previous role
You don't see yourself as having an equal place at the table.
Either way, it can hit your confidence and prevent you from operating at that next level. In both cases, planning early is key to ensuring you can transition into a new role with conviction, full of belief in the value you bring.
My boss still thinks I work for them!
Challenges can arise when making a "diagonal" career move—such as stepping into a new team leader role where your former boss becomes your peer. This can also happen in large organisations or teams when a promotion puts you at the same level as your previous manager. This dynamic can be especially complex in professional services, where hierarchy is based on grade rather than team structure. This was the case for a client of mine, Dan, who was promoted to partner. He suddenly found himself working alongside a more experienced partner whom he had previously reported to as a senior manager.
Managing this transition successfully involves planning early. In the majority of cases, your manager has either recommended or supported your promotion, so the news of an impending role change shouldn’t be a surprise. Discuss with them how you will work together in the future, recognising that there will no longer be a formal reporting line between you, but you still want to be able to tap into their greater experience. Dan did this with his fellow partner on an overseas work trip, where they could speak more informally.
Before your promotion, take time to prepare your team for the transition. If your former boss feels confident in the strength of the team, they are less likely to want to come to you. Document any processes that are currently in your head. You may be asked to appoint a formal successor, but if not, make sure those with the right experience understand the important tasks. This will help create a smooth handover and set your team up for success. If you’re not already, get good at delegating! It will help you be effective in your new role and give your boss confidence that the rest of the team will step into your place.
Once you have moved roles, if your old boss continues to give you work, then firmly but politely push back, explaining that you now have a new role and redirect them to the right person for the job. If necessary, involve your new line manager, especially if they also manage them.
How did I get here?
One reason your former boss may continue assigning you work is simply because they believe they can. If you keep accepting their requests, they’ll keep delegating.
At the core of this dynamic may be self-doubt—perhaps you feel you didn’t fully earn the promotion or aren’t sure what unique value you bring to your new role. This can make it intimidating to see your former boss as a peer, especially if they have a strong personality or are much older than you.
Remind yourself of why you were promoted. What strengths and skills do you have that perhaps your boss doesn’t? How can you support them, as a peer, not a subordinate, to help them achieve their goals? This doesn’t mean doing tasks no longer in your remit or taking up lots of your time, it might just be a little bit of advice on a topic or a few ideas.
In leadership meetings with your peers, pay attention to what each person contributes and identify gaps. What are you missing? Is there someone driving innovation? Someone considering how decisions will impact the wider organisation? Someone unafraid to ask tough questions? Finding a unique way to add value can boost your confidence and reinforce to your former boss that you bring just as much to the table as they do.
So, in conclusion, it is possible to reset relationships after being promoted to the same grade as your boss. Plan in advance, be open with your previous line manager that you may both find this a little odd for a while, and believe that whereas you may not be equal in experience and expertise, you have thoroughly deserved this promotion and have something valuable to bring to the role.
If you’ve just found yourself in this situation and would like support to make the transition successfully and smoothly, get in touch to see how a coaching programme with me can help. I’d love to chat!