How can you overcome limiting beliefs?
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Many of us will have limiting beliefs or internal blockers - those voices in our heads that say, “who do you think you are to be able to do that?”, “you won’t last very long in this job, will you?”, “you’re not good enough to go for that promotion”, and so on….
These voices are compelling. They may be in our heads and may not be particularly objective, and we often know they’re a load of nonsense, but they still prevent us from achieving our goals at work, making the most of our talents and skills and taking on the kind of roles or projects that we really want to.
Whereas I love a good motivational quote, countless memes or affirmations of “You can do anything” and “Success is yours for the taking” will not change deep-seated beliefs. So how can you start to overcome your limiting beliefs and blockers?
Here are three things to try
The first step in understanding your internal blocks is to listen carefully to those negative voices. What are they exactly saying? When do they say it? What are you doing when the doubts arise? Often we hear vague internal negative messages but don’t really take the time to hear the specific detail. The limiting belief is likely to be tapping into a particular fear you have - perhaps a fear of looking silly or a fear of failure. Try to work out which fear is being highlighted. Where is it coming from? Perhaps a negative past experience, or an overly critical teacher, friend or parent. Learn to recognise the belief when it arises, listen carefully to it, jot down your responses to these questions and do some analysis.
When you’ve understood your blockers a little better, think about the times in the past when you’ve had similar feelings, yet you still carried on challenging yourself. What actually happened as a result? Is it the same as what you feared would happen? Chances are the answer is “no”. Even if your limiting belief is based on a past negative experience that did occur, that was then, and it does not mean it will happen again. Try and list everything you’ve accomplished in your career, despite your doubts.
Limiting beliefs and internal blockers lead to procrastination, which can turn into a negative thought spiral (“you haven’t said yes to that presentation yet - because you know you’ll fail, don’t you?”). Make a decision to do something and then carry it out. Even if it's just a tiny step in the right direction, making an intentional action helps you feel you are moving towards your goal. Even if you don’t quite feel ready to lead the presentation to the Board, do a small section of it. Or go along to observe the speaker and see what they do. Or attend some training, or offer to do a smaller gig.
Ultimately, I think many of our fears are about control. Taking a step back and writing down what we can and can’t control helps us prepare before we act. Then we can take action on the things within our power to minimise the chance of those negative situations that we fear. And as for the things we can’t control - put them to one side. If it helps, visualise them on pieces of paper, going into a fire.
If you would like support in overcoming your limiting beliefs, contact me at helen@helentuddenhamconsulting.com, and we can have an informal chat about how my coaching programme could help.